Are you constantly chasing the next new thing? The next platform? The next innovation? The next strategy?
And always feeling a step behind, because there’s always someone who had it first, or grew their faster, or saw bigger results.
What if the truth is that we’ve forgotten the difference between desire and need and that it’s a huge problem, especially for entrepreneurs. Society shifts and what were new fads, quickly becomes old – the first TVs, replaced by the first colours TVs, the first satellite TVs, first flatscreens, digital… 40”, 50”, 60”, 70”… and on it goes.
That should be great news for business owners, right? Never ending buyers? Riches upon riches!?! Capitalism, baby!
But the thing is…we are all also consumers. And each time the trend shifts, whether you are buying or selling, your deepest needs for safety, belonging and significance are no longer met, if you’re meeting them by constantly referring outside yourself. You find yourself feeling like you’re falling behind a baseline everyone else is meeting.
Because you’re looking at where you think they are and making that the baseline.
You look at yourself and think “you were brave and you lept… and you’re still behind on where you want to be, and this. Is. Not. Working.”
But what if that is all an illusion.
What if, when you (and everyone else) become a slave to a baseline without even knowing it’s there, strange things start to happen. You forget who you are, and it takes the place of your own dreams.
The very thing you think you desire makes you chase it; work for it. Chasing makes you feel out of control. Perfectionism, people pleasing, procrastination, exhaustion, “faking it” and imposter syndrome are all amplified because you’re not being you, you’re being what you think you need to be.
Nobody tells you the real dream – the only dream that matters – is safety, belonging and significance from INSIDE you. Or that they never come from material things. Or other people’s strategies you have to pretzel yourself into.
They come from you believing yourself worthy of them. That you already have them.
Material things only trick the system for a moment, letting you touch that amazing feeling. When the moment passes, you don’t get that feeling anymore. Maybe you even get a worse feeling – a new emptiness relative to what was fleetingly there. And so, it’s on to the next shiny object that promises to make you feel that way.
Then the next, after that. The winner of capitalism is capitalism.
But there is another way to build your dream life and your dream business, and that’s to unbecome all of that conditioning. To see that the real prize is a deeply embodied knowing that your safety, belonging and significance are safe in your own hands. That wholeness, worthiness, readiness and creative goddessness is the internal job that CREATES the external reality. Not the other way around.
Once you accept that those external baselines as arbitrary and meaningless, you get to choose for yourself what really gives you joy, vitality and time back. And those truly are the irreplaceable wealth of life. Go all in on those.
Build a business that relies on your embodied purpose, your truth and your genius to be successful. Not today’s hot strategy. Or hot platform. Or hot whatever. The satisfaction (and the success) of those is fleeting. Stop getting likes for a few days, and suddenly there’s that feeling of need again. That energy of “chasing” keeps people running flat out until they burn out. Chased money flows out as fast as it flows in.
On that note, I very rarely post about our monthly sales etc and here is why: the proof of my success is that my business has supported and continues to single-handedly support my family of five with a lifestyle we love, all through my embodied purpose, joy, passion, heart and genius. I never chase money; I attract it.
I know it’s hard to accept when you’ve not “tried it” – people are generally very quick to say “yeah right, I’ll believe you if I still feel this way once I’ve tried having £100k in my bank account thanks!” Even though you’d hesitate to eat poison berries that you’d seen make someone else sick, the belief has been instilled so deeply into us, that it’s not uncommon to keep trying the next metaphorical poison berry and the next one, when it comes to money.
The £5k month quickly becomes old news, then the £10k month, then the £20k month, then the £50k month… That need to look like everyone else (or let’s be honest, a little bit better than everyone else – the science says that’s what we’re really after) is never satiated by chasing the next big thing, because there’s always someone out there with a bigger thing.
As soon as that next figure feels like a need, what you have now stops feeling like enough.
Assuming you ever started at all, you stop feeling so blessed and so grateful and start to feel deeply empty again. To feel shame and alienation because you can’t tell anyone that this amazing money you’re creating isn’t enough to fill you up.
I’ve coached well over 200 women through this, from entrepreneurs on their day one to 7 and 8 figure business owners. And I’ve seen first hand, how painful it is when you’re living everyone’s dream life, and it feels more like a lonely nightmare where you can’t tell anyone what’s really going on. Here’s the rub:
The only way to enjoy your money is to recognise it as a desire at the energetic level and to feel the overflow of joy and abundance of that desire met – before you have the thing physically present. That means:
- Getting to know yourself and what your desires really are, not what you’ve been conditioned to think they are;
- Bringing safety, belonging and significance back into yourself through self-trust and hope, all of which are completely essential to ever feeling joy and abundance;
- Releasing need and fear and operating from love, trust, courage and enthusiasm (desires are born of love, not fear and met through courage, not control);
- Finding your true genius, message, offer and soul mate clients;
- Becoming the version of yourself who effortless attracts your desires; and
- THEN bringing in structures and strategies that are deeply aligned for you, to amplify the success you’re creating and bring you into overflow.
The industry is teaching us to put the last step first! The vast majority of coaches and teachers etc who are posting about their cash flow and their clients’ cash flow all the time are chasing money. They’re thinking about money because they feel NEED around money. They’re sharing those figures because they know if you’re chasing money too, you’re going to run right into their arms. You’re seeing it in them – the answer to all your money problems. And they’re seeing it in you. At the end of the day, everyone might well make money, but nobody feels the way they wanted to feel, because that’s a completely different thing entirely.
Even as the revenue goes up, strategies that teach you to chase money can only teach you to focus more on chasing money, because they’re reinforcing the lesson that your identity and reality are emergent from the external things you refer to around you. The missing piece to money you can feel is always, always, always, found inside you, and understanding that identity and reality are fluid and constantly emerging constructs best changed at the level of your inner experience.
If you’d like to find out more about all of this and go deeper with how the world has been constructed in ways that give power to patriarchal capitalism and teach us to withhold it from ourselves through constantly observing shifting baselines, check out my international no.1 bestselling book, Unbecoming: Your Unorthodox Guide to Radical Wholeness.
xoxo,
Dr. Morgana
